Monday

With the slamming of the door, it got really quiet.  For a long while, I did nothing, I just sat in silence.  My mind began to wrap around all the words that you had said.  Tying them tightly together, I held the brutal gift of your words to my chest.

Honesty.

Yeah, that’s what you had said you were doing for me.

Honesty.  

Because that’s what I deserve, undoubtedly.

But honestly your Honesty has only hurt me…

Sobs suddenly wracked through my body, shaking.  My heart felt broken, it was truly aching.  My chest, I was sure it was splitting.  The gift, I began ripping.  Tearing it open.  Tearing at the sodden paper, wet with tears.  The box of Honesty contained all my fears.  Which you kindly pointed out as my weaknesses, as my flaws.  My fears were going to be the cause of my fall…

Nothing seemed better actually, than to fall.   Did I honestly think I could make it to the top of it all?

No, I can’t.  I’m not good enough, I have too many fears.

I calmed down a bit, I was coming down from my emotional fit.  But then I realized that you were the only one that gave a shit.  About me, about who I was.  Without you, I might as well be wearing camouflage.

Honesty.

I’m invisible.

Honesty.

I’m transparent.

And honestly your Honesty hurts

But I know you love me…and I’m glad to have you as my parent.

You are right, I need to be more confident.

©VicRomero

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