Journey To Acceptance

I look away, but the expression on your face

Is imprinted in my mind.

Eyebrows pulled together,

A stare that would set fire to the toughest of feathers

I’m being critically analyzed.

 

Shrinking away,

I retreat into the depths of my brain

To a place where I haven’t been in awhile…

 

I feel your voice try to lure me back,

But your soft tone only forces me forward,

Onto the train tracks.

I walk along them, refusing to look behind

It’s quieter here in my mind

 

No strange looks and no judgement

I follow the tracks to the summit

Peering down from the top,

The water crashes on the rocks

My heart is eager and my stomach drops

 

I plunge in

My body hits the water,

Burning as if it had fallen onto cement

The air in my lungs whooshes out

I gasp desperately, completely spent

Sinking lower and lower,

The water gets colder

And my body feels compressed into itself

 

I open my eyes,

Wanting to see one last thing before I die

And to my surprise

Mermaids thrive at the bottom

Swimming quickly, as if in full throttle

Many harmonize together,

Carefully braiding each others’ hair

Staring at me as I sink deeper into the depths of me

 

I blink at them, unsure of what to think

Then I remember that I’m drowning,

Without air, I cannot think

Cannot be.

Why was I trying to escape me?

 

I kick my feet and pull myself through the water

The mermaids continue to swim and sing at the bottom

Just as I think my lungs are going to give up

I break the surface and see the sun

 

Dragging my body across the sand

I refuse to take a break, determined to get back to the real land

I stand, staggering toward the horizon

Along the way, I pass bison

Feasting on grass

I hop onto one, and with a slap

It hurtles forward, toward the train tracks

 

It then dumps me off, because it’s eager to get back to its pack

I sigh, glad that I made it back alive

Wading through the crevices of my mind

I reemerge on the other side…

 

Your hazel eyes are continuing to pry

Searching for answers,

Judging me for not telling an honest lie.

 

I confront your stare,

Aware of what awful things you’re thinking of me, but I no longer care

I am who I am,

That I can guarantee…

But who are you to judge me?

 

ยฉ Copyrights 2013/14 VicRomero

 

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8 thoughts on “Journey To Acceptance

  1. My god, that was quite a story! I love this line the best “The water crashes on the rocks”. Like I could almost hear the sound of it.

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