The Adventures of Sailor Jack and Bingo

Once upon a time, in 1896, there was a little boy named Sailor Jack.  He had a dog named Bingo.  Sailor Jack and Bingo lived on a ship with Sailor Jack’s dad, Captain Frederick William Rueckheim.  Sailor Jack, Bingo, and Captain Frederick William Rueckheimwere traveling from Germania to The Land of the Corn to expand his father’s snack business.  While Captain Frederick William Rueckheimand the rest of the crew were doing their duties, Sailor Jack and Bingo would run around the ship, playing pirates, looking for buried treasure, and saving damsels in distress.  Sailor Jack always wanted to be a pirate because unlike sailors, they have so many adventures and they’re wealthy.  Captain Frederick William Rueckheimhated it when Sailor Jack pretended to be a pirate because pirates attack sailors, although they have been fortunate enough to not be attacked on their journey.

One foggy afternoon, Sailor Jack and Bingo were playing pirates; Bingo started barking because he had seen something in the distance.

“What is it, boy?” Sailor Jack asked, calmly petting Bingo’s ears which were sticking up in alertness.

Bingo continued to bark relentlessly as Sailor Jack stared off into the horizon, finally spotting the looming ship.

“A ship!” exclaimed Sailor Jack.  “Maybe it’s a pirate ship!”

Sure enough, as the mysterious ship quickly approached Captain Frederick William Rueckheim’s ship, Sailor Jack heard them singing…

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…

Sailor Jack trembled with excitement and then he and Bingo raced to find his dad.

“Dad! Dad!  There’s a pirate ship coming!”  Sailor Jack shouted as Bingo barked.

Captain Frederick William Rueckheim’s eyes bulged out of his head in shock, and then he shouted, “Code 113!  Code 113!  I repeat, Code 113, this is not a drill!”

The crew began to scuttle around the ship, shouting at each other.  Captain Frederick William Rueckheim’slooked down upon his son with weary eyes.  “Son, pirates are not our friends.  They want to take our stuff, and they want to kill us.”

Captain Frederick William Rueckheim briskly strode away.  Sailor Jack watched in terror as the crewmates set up canons and armed themselves for potential problems.  Just as Sailor Jack was going to run after his dad to tell him not to hurt the magical pirates, a hand clamped over his mouth.

“Listen to me, boy,” a voice whispered behind him, the breath hot against Sailor Jack’s ear.  “You will not make a peep.  I am going to release my hand from your mouth and you and your dog will follow me.”

With tears stinging the corner of his eyes, Sailor Jack nodded his head and the mysterious man released him.  Sailor Jack turned around and then stood stupefied as he took in the mysterious man’s appearance.  It was a real life pirate!

“C’mon, boy!  Quit your staring!”  The pirate began to hobble away.  He hobbled because of his peg leg.

The pirate led Sailor Jack and Bingo onto the pirate ship.  The ship was rather smelly and dirty, unlike the one that Captain Frederick William Rueckheim maintained.  The pirate walked to the stern of the ship and then pulled open a door in the floor and climbed down the ladder.  Sailor Jack obediently followed, carrying Bingo in his arms.

“Your dad is Captain Frederick William Rueckheim, correct?” the pirate asked.

Although Sailor Jack had questions about how he knew, Sailor Jack simply nodded and Bingo barked once.

“I could tell because of the flag.  That flag is on all of Captain Frederick William Rueckheim’s products, like his tasty sweet corn, correct?”

Sailor Jack nodded.

“I love that snack, but it broke some of my teeth, you see.”  The pirate bared his crumbling, filthy teeth for Sailor Jack.  Sailor Jack tried not to cringe.  Bingo covered his eyes with his paws and whimpered.

“When I was on the island of Chackawaka, I discovered a magical oil that when added to the sweet corn, the individual pieces would separate so it wouldn’t be a big brick that breaks people’s teeth.”  The pirate walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a vile.  “I want you to give this to your dad.  If he likes it, I can supply him with more.  We can be business partners, although some people say that being in a business with family can be bad.”

Sailor Jack gaped.  “You’re not family…”

“Yeah, I’m your Uncle Louis, your dad is my brother.”

After this information sank in, Sailor Jack smiled.  “Okay, I’ll help you out.”

“Also, I think this snack should have buried treasure in it.  Everyone, not only pirates, want to find buried treasure!” exclaimed Uncle Louis.

A few years later, the corn business in The Land of the Corn is popping, especially after the magical oil and the buried treasure was added to each bag.  Captain Frederick William Rueckheim presented it at the first World Fair in The Land of the Corn, and it made everyone from other countries want to go to The Land of the Corn too.  The President of The Land of the Corn was happy that there was so much publicity around them and  that as a result, the tourist industry was booming.  Additionally, Captain Frederick William Rueckheim and his brother reunited, and Sailor Jack got to know his Uncle Louis, who would always tell him his pirate adventures before tucking him into bed.  Also, Bingo gained a lot of weight from eating the successful snacks and was then forced to go on a strict diet, but they all lived happily ever after.

© 2014 Vic Romero

*The characters are the logos for the Cracker Jack company.  The story is a fairytale about how the Cracker Jack company came to be.  I wrote this in english class my senior year and decided to post it now lol

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