I had a really great day today, one of the best days I’ve had in weeks.
I woke up this morning with no message or call from my ex (I had asked to talk to her last night) so instead of just…waiting…I sent her an open and honest text about what has been bothering me because in the other text I sent her, I acted like everything was fine when it wasn’t. I’m still waiting for a reply but I’m just glad that I got it off my chest because I feel more proactive and in control rather than just waiting to get shit on.
After that, I had class and although nothing special happened, I had a great time after that.
I literally sat in my room from 11-7 watching YouTube videos and eating junk food. It was SO amazing, relaxing…I didn’t cry today, instead I laughed…it was great.
Yeah, now I’m somewhat behind in my study schedule for Astronomy but guys, it was SO worth it…especially after all the stress and anxiety I’ve been having…crying, nausea, puking…mood swings…being upset about my ex…being homesick…having today to just do NOTHING was so amazing. I feel refreshed and pumped and ready for tomorrow.
Oh, and I had my second midterm today and when it was over I didn’t have a panic attack, unlike what happened after I finished my first midterm. I think because I’ve been so relaxed today that it helped me be okay after.
Anyway…this doesn’t have to do with my amazing day or anything…actually it does because I read an article about this lol well I’ve read many articles about this topic but when I read one today I started thinking…what if I don’t shave for five weeks?
I’ve gone without shaving for so long before, I’m a huge participant in No-Shave November, but I don’t think I’ve done it for five weeks and I still shave parts of my body, just not my legs. But I was thinking about not touching a razor at all…thing is I have personal mixed feelings about not shaving…I don’t want to talk about my feminist feelings but my own.
Not shaving is kinda hard for me because I feel like I’m hairier than most women. I realize there is bound to be other women like me since there are so many people on this earth…but I don’t know anybody that shares my issues. Maybe I do know people, but I don’t talk about it with anyone so I wouldn’t know if they’re going through the same thing. But I’m going to talk about it now, yay!
I believe that I have more testosterone than I’m supposed to have…I’ve never done any tests so I don’t know for sure but I feel like between my freakishly amazing metabolism, my height, my acne problems, and my hairiness…maybe I do. My sister and my mom don’t have these issues at all so…I don’t know…it’s just something I’ve noticed.
But anyway…back to the subject of hair!!
I feel like if I stop shaving for five weeks, it’ll be extremely noticeable, unlike if most women stopped shaving. Then again, it is getting cooler outside so maybe it won’t be. But when I’m showering or just naked, I’ll feel so self-conscious, even if I’m by myself. I feel unattractive, dirty…gross..ashamed. I really wish I didn’t feel this way about my natural body but I do.
There are some religions that require you to not cut or shave your hair at all…I know a girl that follows those rules and when I first met her she was ashamed of it but now she doesn’t give a shit because that’s just the way she is.
Whenever I see women with body hair or leg hair, I admire them and wish I had that confidence to do the same.
I’m not saying that I don’t want to shave ever again, but right now I feel like I’m shaving because if I don’t shave, I’ll feel unattractive. I want to shave because I like it, and to be honest I hate it. I think it’s important for me to accept my body the way it is and for some reason I’ve decided that maybe not shaving for five weeks is the way accomplish that. Maybe I’ll feel more confident.
I’m going to think about this…especially if my ex and I get back together lol I tend to get lazy on shaving my legs and stuff sometimes and she’s never complained but I’ve never gone without shaving for so long and been with her…I don’t think I can skip shaving and be intimate with someone, I’d probably…yeah no. But anyway…I shall see.