Update: How To Discover and Redefine Myself

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve made this list and I’ve been single for a month (although the first two weeks seemed more like a temporary break so I still felt committed to my ex).

It’s weird because I’ve spent most of 2014 with my ex and I’ve known her since 2013 and now she’s just completely gone from my life because that’s what she wants I guess but…it’s just weird.  An adjustment on top of all the other adjustments I’ve been making since late August when I moved into my dorm at college.

I feel like I’ve been doing a lot better lately…there are times when I miss her a lot, times when I’m angry with her, times when I feel…like it’s hard to accept what happened because I don’t have much closure..but for the most part I’ve been so busy with school and getting more involved…connecting with friends…that those feelings quickly dissolve.  If they don’t go away, I write about them so they can be out of my head.

Anyway, I just wanted to update this list…share what I’ve been doing to help me move on and other projects I plan on taking because I’m passionate about them and they make me happy.

The bold is the original list and the normal writing is the update.

How To Discover and Redefine Myself

  1. Join new clubs and be friendly with the people that are part of them.  Make some connections with them, hang out with them outside of the club. I’ve joined a slam poetry club in which I plan on performing one day soon…I already write poetry and thought that this would be a cool challenge.  There are other clubs I’ve yet to go to but seem interesting, such as feminist clubs and LGBTQ clubs.
  2. Try to meet someone new everyday.  Maybe sit with someone I don’t know in the dining hall.  I’ve met…probably at least one new person everyday because I’ve been getting out of my room.  It’s nice because as I walk around campus, I recognize more people and we either say hello or chat for a little bit.
  3. Eat OUTSIDE of my room.  Socialize with people, make connections.  I have been doing this, except for right now because I have leftovers and I don’t want them to go bad lol Thai food is so delicious!  I’ve also been eating a lot of Mediterranean food lately 😛
  4. Reach out to my RA every once in awhile.  My RA has changed my life in little ways but she’s been amazing, I’m so grateful to have such an awesome RA.  She’s introduced me to so many people on my floor that I now am acquaintances with and she’s taken me to the Latin@ center, connecting me with people that have the same ethnicity as I do.  It’s awesome.
  5. Sit in the lounge and talk to the girls that usually hang out there.  Get to know them.  I’ve done this maybe the first week my ex and I were officially broken up…sitting in the lounge didn’t really do much for me…I’ll have to try it again.
  6. Get involved.  Look into applying for externships and research opportunities.  Find out what I’m passionate about by doing those things.  Oh mi god, I’m so excited for this opportunity I found out about, it’s an internship for the spring and although I don’t think I’ll get it because I have no previous research experience, I hope I get it because it’ll open so many doors for me…but if I don’t get it I will continue to look for other opportunities.
  7. Go to the gym on the weekends…and if I like it, go more regularly.  Physical activity will help reduce stress and make me feel strong and powerful.  I am going to the gym tomorrow for the first time…not really sure what kind of workout routine I want to do but I’m excited to explore it and try something new that’ll improve my health and help me catch weekend buses lol
  8. Post more on Instagram and Facebook (but avoid looking at my ex’s profiles).  By posting all the positive stuff in my life, when I feel sad I can look back at those posts and see all that I have accomplished, therefore empowering myself.  I have been posting a LOT lately and although it makes me feel empowered I have to avoid the urge of looking at my ex’s profile, not that I can see anything since she made her stuff private suddenly but…I don’t know.  Social media isn’t the best way to get over her, in my opinion.
  9. Explore my sexuality by meeting new people.  Learn who I’m attracted to…have a better understanding of myself.  I’ve met new people but haven’t explored my sexuality at all…I’m not really sure how to even go about exploring my sexuality.
  10. Write something that I’m grateful for everyday, as well as something positive and inspiring.  Put it on a sticky and carry it with me, and when I feel down, pull it out to remind myself of all the blessings that I have in my life and how I can do anything if I put my mind and heart into it.  I was looking up quotes/inspiring pictures for awhile but I stopped…I guess because I don’t feel the need to empower myself in this way anymore.  That means I’m moving on successfully, I suppose.

Some other things I’ve been doing is watching movies/TV with friends, reading books for fun, and looking up new music.  Right now I’m reading In My Skin: My Life On and Off the Basketball Court by Brittney Griner, it’s awesome so far.  I’m also really into the band, Eyes Set To Kill, and I want to start watching American Horror Story.  Lastly, I plan on getting a mini women’s basketball season pass for my school, which would allow me to go to four games!  So excited 😀

That’s it for now…do you guys have any advice/recommendations for anything?  Please share!

-Vic

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