Simple (Memory #4)

Her body seemed to mold to mine…fitting perfectly.

I gently ran my fingertips up her smooth back, and then dragged them back down over her cute little booty.  She wiggled from the tickling sensation and kissed my cheek before resting her head back on my chest.

Laying in bed with her was my favorite thing to do with her because it was so simple.  She was there, in my arms…perfect.  There was no opportunity for her to disappoint me or let me down when all we were doing was cuddling.  There was no reason for me to worry and wonder about our future because we were together in these moments.  Most importantly, I was confident she wasn’t going to leave me both physically and emotionally when she was so comfortable lying down with me.

Out of bed though, when were both in our separate worlds…disappointment, worry, and fear were inherent emotions for me.  Maybe long distance contributed to this…but I don’t think it was the main cause.  I think the reason for these feelings was that my ex and I didn’t always have the greatest communication and we both have a lot of growing up to do…it was young love.  But for me…maybe for her too…our love was everything I wanted and needed because it felt simple.  She said she loved me and I said I loved her too…looking back though, I don’t feel as if she showed me that she loved me all the time.  I feel that sometimes she didn’t regard me in the same way I would regard her…I had her on a pedestal.

In bed, that was when I felt we were on the same page, feeling the same things for each other.  We would whisper “I love you” as we laid in bed, holding onto each other, entangled, as her quiet breathing lulled me to sleep…

Unfortunately, simplicity isn’t always reality.

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