I’m Proud of Myself

Finals are in about a week and a half now, and I’m actually not stressed out. Or maybe I’m just in denial.

But seriously, it doesn’t take much to get me stressed out and you’d think since these are my first finals that I’d be losing it, much like how I was when it came to midterms. I’m not losing it though! I’m actually okay…really exhausted but I’m doing okay…maybe even great!

Midterms were really scary because they were my first tests in college and I didn’t know what to expect. I was also being painfully strung along by my ex, adding more stress to my life. I was worrying about my grades and about my scholarship…I made an intense study schedule for myself and I holed myself up in my room all day, eating Ramen and not socializing with anyone. It was a really bad experience, and reasonably so.

Now, I know what to expect when I take a test. I’m not having relationship drama, nor am I in a relationship which is good because I tend to find relationships a little stressful even when things are going well. I’m feeling pretty confident about my grades (I’ve gotten a few A’s on papers!!) but I’m not getting cocky and assuming I’m insanely brilliant, I’m still working really hard. Now that I feel more confident in my ability to succeed in college, I’m not so worried about my scholarship because I’ve proven to myself time and time again that I can do well. I don’t have an intense study schedule but I do manage my time down to the hour (like I can tell you what I’m doing Friday at 4pm…say I’m weird but this management works for me) and I keep track of my assignments so I don’t ever feel too overwhelmed. I’ve been doing all my studying in the library. I found out that I really like to sit in the “Group Study Area” because the quit chatter is rather calming to me and hearing people have academic discussions provokes me to not procrastinate as much as I do when I’m in a quiet environment. Because I didn’t leave my room to eat during midterms, I have a TON of meal swipes left so I have to use them. It’s awesome though because since midterms, I’ve realized there’s other places to eat on campus that is better than the dining hall sometimes and I’ve learned how to work the system, so in one trip to the café on campus I’ll use 3 meal swipes. I probably still won’t use all of the meal swipes I have but I am using a lot more than I used to. Also, now that I’m studying so much in the library, I haven’t really hung out with my friends much but I have been socializing a little bit like in class or when I see someone in passing. Lastly, I’ve started working out!

After attending the women’s basketball game and seeing how muscular the team was and the cheerleaders and especially after being inspired by St. Joseph’s Hawk mascot, I’ve decided to work on my biceps. It’s only a ten minute workout that solely focuses on my arms but considering I haven’t worked out in a few years, having the diligence to stick with this routine is big for me. It’s been about three weeks now…or maybe 4…not sure. But it’s been about a month and I plan on working on my abs or legs too soon and do a longer workout but for now it’s easier for me to commit to something shorter because it feels more manageable to me. Working out has become the only thing in my life where I stop thinking about everything I have to do etc and just focus on me and what I’m doing. I like having sore muscles because it makes me feel stronger, and when I feel physically stronger I also feel a little more emotionally stronger.

Here’s a picture of my bicep lol

IMG_9634.JPG
Do I look buff yet?

Anyway, I wanted to write this because I am proud of how far I’ve come since midterms..not only have I adjusted to college a lot (thanks to the help of some amazing people in my life) but I’ve also accomplished and been involved in so many activities and causes…it’s exciting. I’m excited to see how else college changes and shapes me into the woman I aspire to become. It’s not always going to be easy, it’s not easy now…but I can do it. And when I feel like I can’t do it I want to look at this post and see that I can.

Self-empowerment aside, I plan on posting a little story thing soon as well as a fashion/beauty post. Things have just been kinda hectic with finals though so maybe I’ll do those things afterwards…I shall see.

I hope everyone has been having a great week so far, hang in tight it’s almost the weekend!! And don’t forget, you are amazing and strong too. Don’t doubt yourself, you can do anything if you work for it.

-Vic

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