Swallowed by the Grey

Everything has felt so miserable.  I haven’t done anything fun because of school, which I’m not doing too well in anyway…my bestie didn’t come to visit me for Halloweekend this year and I’ve been spending most of my weekends wallowing in my room.  I can’t wait for this semester to end and to graduate, but when that happens, I’ll be going back home and I won’t be seeing my girlfriend nearly as frequently.  Our relationship will change because we’ll be in two different places, both physically and emotionally.  We only live about an hour away from each other but if I’m working full-time (at this rate, I won’t be because I stopped applying for jobs) and she’ll be at school full-time…we’ll have different, busy schedules.  I don’t think it’ll negatively impact our relationship but I’ll just miss seeing her every day and I’ll miss spending as much time together.  I also won’t be seeing my sister as much…I’ll miss being at school with her.

My birthday is tomorrow and my sister and I may not have a voice due to laryngitis caused by allergies.  Dinner with our parents will be incredibly silent.  This happened to me last February for the first time since elementary school, and I was hoping it wouldn’t happen again but alas, it appears it will.

I’m quite sad that tomorrow is my birthday…I am not where I want to be.  Then again, I’m never satisfied with where I’m at.  Why is that?  What will it take for me to be happy, even if I’m not “the best?”  Why make myself miserable?  How can I change the way I value my life so that I’m positive and kinder to myself?  Perhaps value societal expectations of me less?  Perhaps value academic excellence less?  Perhaps value the way I feel about myself more? How do I go about valuing myself more?

Anyway…I went to the city on Saturday to combat all this negativity.  I went with my girlfriend because we had been talking about wanting to go for forever but for one reason or another, we haven’t been together yet.  It was pretty spontaneous because we kept going back and forth with it but then we both got train tickets and hopped on the train and we were off!

First, we went to some noodle place on a side street near Times Square.  It was a quality restaurant.

 

My parents happened to be in NYC too for a conference, so I saw them for a little bit near Grand Central.  My mom was feeling pretty glum so I think she appreciated seeing me, even for a little bit.  Afterwards, my girlfriend and I walked down Fifth Avenue all the way to John’s on Bleeker street.  It was about an hour walk but it was such a lovely, sunny day.  It wasn’t too cold nor too hot…it was perfect.  Because it was Saturday and such a pleasant day, there was a lot going on, which was awesome because we didn’t have a solid plan.

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We passed the Museum of Sex Museum, so we checked out their gift shop.  They have some quality toys in there as well as organic lubricants.  It was pretty cool.

After a couple minutes of walking a little further, we came across a street fair that spanned a couple of blocks!  There was food, jewelry, pottery, woodwork, clothing, and more!  We got three cookies: red velvet with white chocolate chips, coconut pecan, and banana peanut butter chocolate chip.  They were made without sugar so they weren’t too sweet, and they were so delicious!

A couple more blocks later, we came across a farmer’s market at Washington Square Park!  I was quite excited because I miss my beloved farmer’s market in my neighborhood.  Anyway, it was a huge farmer’s market, unlike the one near me, and they had tons of goods that I hadn’t seen anywhere before such as organic flower and a whole table of lavender products.  My girlfriend knows I love lavender and that I use it quite frequently, so after scoping it out for quite a bit, she got me lavender that I can bake with or make tea with!  I’m very excited to try it out, plus it smells so good.

Then we went to John’s.  We got a Brooklyn lager, which we had tried before at a bar we like to go to near the beach.  We usually get flights at that bar and the Brooklyn Lager was one that we had tried through a flight.  We also got a large plain pizza.

John’s has changed tremendously over the years.  I’ve been going for most of my life because my mom is from the city so she used to like to take us frequently, and that pizzeria was a staple during those trips.  It’s gotten more expensive and commercialized, which is unfortunate.  However, I hardly go anymore…Saturday was the first time I went in at least two years, if not more.  What was unfortunate though was that the service was subpar.  The waiters weren’t attentive and they rushed us out, despite us having beer left to drink in our glasses.  Despite this, my girlfriend had never been there and loved the pizza so much that she had four slices!

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Pizza!! and Beer ❤

By the time we left John’s, it was about 6 or 7pm and we wanted to head home.  So walked in the direction of the train station and stopped in a couple of sex stores.  I’ve been wanting to get a vibrator for a while.  I had one about four years ago and I didn’t really use it before I got rid of it.  We walked past the sex store that I had been in four years ago when I got the toy, so we went inside.  They have a great selection because they have a ton of toys that don’t look like male genitalia, unlike most other sex stores near me anyway.  The service is great there too because the staff is helpful and knowledgeable.

Then we stopped in a couple of liquor stores to potentially buy margarita mix, but we ended up not getting anyway.  Then we took the train home, which was a little dramatic because some older guy, like grandfather aged, had fallen while getting on the train because he was drunk, and a shot glass in his pocket had broken.  They had to get paramedics to help him so we were delayed a bit…and then we had to switch to a different car because there was bloody, broken glass everywhere…but we have a free train ticket now!  Plus we got home safely.  Overall, it was wonderful 🙂

My girlfriend and I want to take more trips to the city instead of hanging around town and going to the same mediocre bars and restaurants.  The next time we go may be in early December.  I’ll let you know what we do next time!

xx Vic

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