laborious thoughts

what 

is life after college?

 

creation of visual art

creating your own brand

and poetry

that represents deeper issues and meanings

of the universe

while

you travel aimlessly

to create

to survive

to find your own purpose

on this grand, fucked up-

beautiful globe

do you turn to spiritual practices

to see more clearly

the beauty of the mess?

 

or

 

is it about

working nine to five

FULL TIME FULL TIME FULL TIME

MEDICAL BENEFITS

COMPETITIVE SALARIES

R E T I R E M E N T plans

so you can move out

of your small, carpeted childhood bedroom

and into a larger one

with hardwood floors

that you share with someone that looks at you

with stars in their eyes?

 

are there alternatives? what are they?

 

what do i want?

 

© 2017 Vic Romero

 

roses smell when they rot

slowly,

slowly

you fall in slow-motion:

eyes wide

as you realize you are falling

and as your hand is ripped

out of mine

ruby lips agape

i’m entranced by the shock

that is spread across your face

the shock that you feign

because, c’mon-

we both saw this coming

but unlike you,

i opted to cross

the street and let you go

 

your head smacks the ground

splitting open like a juicy watermelon

the fresh flesh gushing out of the cracks

forming rivulets that crawl over the pavement

like red highlights in your hair

 

© 2017 Vic Romero

 

 

 

healing

i guess

it was too much to hold together

i expected too much

i guess

the stitches had had enough

of sewing broken things back up

i guess

the threads were weak

i guess

the outcome was always going to be bleak

 

© 2017 Vic Romero

 

Surgery

Draw the blade over my quivering, pale flesh
Redness emerges between the folds
Increasing in volume as the seconds tick away
Until the needle and thread poke through and crosses the divide
Pulling tight,
Patching me up,
Fixing me of all that is wrong-
And making it right

© 2017 Vic Romero

First poem of the year…More creative pieces coming soon. 

Quitting Smoking

Maybe we caught fire too soon

Blazed too bright

Burned too quickly

To realize-

We were too hot to last.

We burned ourselves out,

As fast as we ignited

 

You used to make me so excited.

My love for you brightened my mood

Until you sucked out all my oxygen,

Leaving me gasping for breath.

I have nothing left to give

 

At some point, you left me alone

In the dark

Fingers singed from holding onto our fire

For far too long

Because I was hoping you would return

To reignite our spark

 

But not anymore.

I’m walking out of this smoky,

Ashy room

And slamming shut the door

Behind me.

 

Time for fresh air.

 

© 2016 Vic Romero

Your Last

I hope your last emotion wasn’t fear.
Did you see it coming?
I hope your last sight wasn’t the glaring headlights.
Did you run?

I hope your last touch wasn’t the hard metal
Nor the rough pavement against your cheek

I hope the last thing you heard wasn’t the roar of the engine
Nor your roommate shrilly screaming your name.

I hope your last taste wasn’t the blood that flooded your mouth.
Did it choke you?
I hope your last smell wasn’t the burning rubber when the truck left you behind
Did you suffer?

I hope you didn’t.

© 2016 Vic Romero

My cousin was killed crossing the street on 3 September 2016.

Twenty years with you doesn’t feel like enough time, but I’m grateful to at least have that. Chris, thank you for being my big sister, I love you. RIP.

PIV

This is an extremely raw write…I wrote this over the course of several days back in April-March…tears always stung my eyes as I added a couple of lines on my way to class or when I couldn’t focus on studying…I could edit this and clean it up, but I kind of like how…raw and therefore rough it is. I feel like it helps depict my mentality at that time…jagged edges and ill-fitting puzzle pieces. 


At this point, I’m only torturing myself

Because I know well

That nothing will become of this.

I don’t want it to anyway

This relationship would drive

myself crazy

Because you’re too lazy

To treat me right

And you’re a vault

Locked up tight

 

I must love how you hurt me

Because I’m not coming undone from your touch

No

Only you get satisfied

So why do I keep entangling myself

In these cheap affairs

There’s nothing in it for me

In the end

 

We’re not going to last

 

I think I rather be alone

Than be with you and feel miserable

Our relationship isn’t transparent

And there isn’t a point in talking about it anymore

Since it’ll only fall on deaf ears

Like what has happened before

It’s exhausting trying to one-up you

I’m killing myself so you can’t

But there isn’t a point

Since I can’t accomplish anything if I’m dead

We aren’t friends

We don’t know how to be friends

 

I’ve known all of this for awhile now

Ever since I realized you aren’t lonely

You just want someone to fuck

Or a thing

I lose my autonomy with you

As you pursue sexual satisfaction

I remain still for you

Your hands graze my body

And penetrate me

To please you

And you alone

 

I am enough

You’re not allowed to make me feel less than


But I’m not gonna stop entertaining your texts

And I won’t stop spending the night

Until you stop inviting me

Because ending the hurricane that we are

Means also ending the rainbow in my life

 

I’m not really part of anything

A stray leaf floating through branches covered in leaves that match each other

But I’m different colored

Mixing everything together

 

You’re no longer allowed to camp out at the forefront of my mind

I have other things to think about

Other friendships to foster

And problems I want to solve

You treat me like I’m ordinary

And I deserve better

 

I like the idea of you

I like hooking up with you because I like you

You like hooking up with me because I’m convenient

I am just a body

Without agency

A rag doll

Raggedy Vie

 

© 1 March 2016 Vic Romero