Surgery

Draw the blade over my quivering, pale flesh
Redness emerges between the folds
Increasing in volume as the seconds tick away
Until the needle and thread poke through and crosses the divide
Pulling tight,
Patching me up,
Fixing me of all that is wrong-
And making it right

© 2017 Vic Romero

First poem of the year…More creative pieces coming soon. 

Quitting Smoking

Maybe we caught fire too soon

Blazed too bright

Burned too quickly

To realize-

We were too hot to last.

We burned ourselves out,

As fast as we ignited

 

You used to make me so excited.

My love for you brightened my mood

Until you sucked out all my oxygen,

Leaving me gasping for breath.

I have nothing left to give

 

At some point, you left me alone

In the dark

Fingers singed from holding onto our fire

For far too long

Because I was hoping you would return

To reignite our spark

 

But not anymore.

I’m walking out of this smoky,

Ashy room

And slamming shut the door

Behind me.

 

Time for fresh air.

 

© 2016 Vic Romero

Your Last

I hope your last emotion wasn’t fear.
Did you see it coming?
I hope your last sight wasn’t the glaring headlights.
Did you run?

I hope your last touch wasn’t the hard metal
Nor the rough pavement against your cheek

I hope the last thing you heard wasn’t the roar of the engine
Nor your roommate shrilly screaming your name.

I hope your last taste wasn’t the blood that flooded your mouth.
Did it choke you?
I hope your last smell wasn’t the burning rubber when the truck left you behind
Did you suffer?

I hope you didn’t.

© 2016 Vic Romero

My cousin was killed crossing the street on 3 September 2016.

Twenty years with you doesn’t feel like enough time, but I’m grateful to at least have that. Chris, thank you for being my big sister, I love you. RIP.

PIV

This is an extremely raw write…I wrote this over the course of several days back in April-March…tears always stung my eyes as I added a couple of lines on my way to class or when I couldn’t focus on studying…I could edit this and clean it up, but I kind of like how…raw and therefore rough it is. I feel like it helps depict my mentality at that time…jagged edges and ill-fitting puzzle pieces. 


At this point, I’m only torturing myself

Because I know well

That nothing will become of this.

I don’t want it to anyway

This relationship would drive

myself crazy

Because you’re too lazy

To treat me right

And you’re a vault

Locked up tight

 

I must love how you hurt me

Because I’m not coming undone from your touch

No

Only you get satisfied

So why do I keep entangling myself

In these cheap affairs

There’s nothing in it for me

In the end

 

We’re not going to last

 

I think I rather be alone

Than be with you and feel miserable

Our relationship isn’t transparent

And there isn’t a point in talking about it anymore

Since it’ll only fall on deaf ears

Like what has happened before

It’s exhausting trying to one-up you

I’m killing myself so you can’t

But there isn’t a point

Since I can’t accomplish anything if I’m dead

We aren’t friends

We don’t know how to be friends

 

I’ve known all of this for awhile now

Ever since I realized you aren’t lonely

You just want someone to fuck

Or a thing

I lose my autonomy with you

As you pursue sexual satisfaction

I remain still for you

Your hands graze my body

And penetrate me

To please you

And you alone

 

I am enough

You’re not allowed to make me feel less than


But I’m not gonna stop entertaining your texts

And I won’t stop spending the night

Until you stop inviting me

Because ending the hurricane that we are

Means also ending the rainbow in my life

 

I’m not really part of anything

A stray leaf floating through branches covered in leaves that match each other

But I’m different colored

Mixing everything together

 

You’re no longer allowed to camp out at the forefront of my mind

I have other things to think about

Other friendships to foster

And problems I want to solve

You treat me like I’m ordinary

And I deserve better

 

I like the idea of you

I like hooking up with you because I like you

You like hooking up with me because I’m convenient

I am just a body

Without agency

A rag doll

Raggedy Vie

 

© 1 March 2016 Vic Romero



parasite

i relinquished my power to you and my better judgement at my expense because your so-called love and cheap affection caused my heart to pound against the bones in my chest and you felt my heart jumping when you caressed my breast but you chalked it up to being in the moment although my feelings for you ran and still run much deeper and i ignored the warning signs and continued running as the descent got steeper and it all caught up to me when i tripped and fell and tumbled to my doom maybe we just met too soon otherwise you may have been feeling the same way too…but you don’t. you never did. why did i think that you did? did you change your mind? it feels like you have just been manipulating me all this time…and it’s not okay.  it’s not okay how you kept asking when i said “no” because i wasn’t going to change my mind at least not that night and it’s not okay how you reduced me to my body and it’s not okay for stringing me along leading me on convincing me that we’re something we’re not when you knew all along and you watched me comprised my wants and needs for this bullshit “friendship” like hell we were never friends and i’m still…unsure if i can keep trying to tie these loose ends don’t you see that you’re only hurting me why do i keep doing what you want you’re not the boss of me i want my fucking agency back because i’m tired of feeling mad and sad and anxious and scared this shouldn’t feel so hard and it shouldn’t hurt so much to cut you out you’re a parasite so get out of my sight get out get out get out

© 2016 Vic Romero

we’re not friends

break it off yesterday because it’s not worth trudging through the dirt

i am lazy i am crazy am i the reason that this doesn’t work

i blame them and i hate them for all the hurt so much hurt

but i don’t try because i remember that i always forget i

am alone

at the end of the day i don’t have a say in it

i’m alone

and a sucker

take advantage just fuck her

selectively choosing when to trust

but i have proof that it was better before

before it was shiny but it’s all turned to rust

we’re not friends

we’re not anything

i opt out of seeing you anymore

but i’m afraid i’m making the same mistake

as before

 

© Vic Romero

Goodbye STC, AL

#rawwrite

JZ

[[Play]]

 

my blue lips stain your pillowcase

that’s covered in my twisted, stray strands

i stare down into your beautiful face

tracing it with my cold, shaking hands

 

you see, you’ve been making laps around my mind

your long legs making great strides

or better yet, with my legs, intertwined

you have my mind preoccupied

 

you make me glow

and my cheeks are always sore from laughing

do you want me, though?

i’m afraid what we have could quickly come down, crashing

 

and i don’t want that

 

until you, i didn’t think my heart was capable of pitter-pattering anymore

ever since my veins had been cut and frayed

my heart still isn’t quite healed from the war

but i’m trying to be unafraid

 

of feeling this way for you

i hope you want “us” to go somewhere too

 

© 2016 Vic Romero

~Happy New Year!  I hope y’all are doing well, blog coming soon! xx