parasite

i relinquished my power to you and my better judgement at my expense because your so-called love and cheap affection caused my heart to pound against the bones in my chest and you felt my heart jumping when you caressed my breast but you chalked it up to being in the moment although my feelings for you ran and still run much deeper and i ignored the warning signs and continued running as the descent got steeper and it all caught up to me when i tripped and fell and tumbled to my doom maybe we just met too soon otherwise you may have been feeling the same way too…but you don’t. you never did. why did i think that you did? did you change your mind? it feels like you have just been manipulating me all this time…and it’s not okay.  it’s not okay how you kept asking when i said “no” because i wasn’t going to change my mind at least not that night and it’s not okay how you reduced me to my body and it’s not okay for stringing me along leading me on convincing me that we’re something we’re not when you knew all along and you watched me comprised my wants and needs for this bullshit “friendship” like hell we were never friends and i’m still…unsure if i can keep trying to tie these loose ends don’t you see that you’re only hurting me why do i keep doing what you want you’re not the boss of me i want my fucking agency back because i’m tired of feeling mad and sad and anxious and scared this shouldn’t feel so hard and it shouldn’t hurt so much to cut you out you’re a parasite so get out of my sight get out get out get out

© 2016 Vic Romero

Woo Me

I ran into one of the friends that had said they were coming to my birthday bash but never showed up, at the dining hall.  She apologized..apparently her pre-party nap caused her to sleep through the whole party.  We ate breakfast together and chatted, it was really nice.

I had met her at a party about a month ago because she was friends with a girl who was friends with my friend.  I liked her instantly and got her number, but I did not anticipate using it.  I didn’t think I was going to see her again and when I’m drunk, I tend to collect the phone numbers of people I talk to for at least a minute, and I don’t usually contact them again.

But then I saw her again at another party and we talked the whole night.  She’s super attractive and has a sexy voice so when she informed me that she just had a nasty breakup with her boyfriend and that she’s bi, I wanted to be the one to make her forget all about him.

Continue reading “Woo Me”

Sweet ‘N’ Sour

I fell in love with your words,
They gently caressed my ears
Sending shivers up my spine

I fell in love with your voice,
Smooth and low
Emitted from your lovely lips
Which were frequently goofily smiling

I fell in love with the way you said my name
I could’ve heard it all day
And your kisses were always sweet

I fell in love with your eyes,
A deep and hypnotizing green
Penetrating into mine
Seeing right through me

I fell in love with your hands,
Soft and big, the most perfect hands that I’ve ever seen
Attached to arms, so strong
Strong enough to hold me

I fell in love,
I fell in love easily
But it was wrong,
It was all wrong
So eventually…

I fell out of love with your hands,
Cold and hard, they choked my heart cunningly
Attached to arms, so strong
But they refused to even hug me

I fell out of love with your eyes,
A stormy green
Hiding secrets and lies
Drowned me in your tsunamis

I fell out of love with the way you said my name,
Spat it out
And your kisses soured in the new day

I fell out of love with your voice,
Hoarse and low
That emitted from your bloody lips,
Which were frequently demonically grinning

I fell out of love with your words
They seared my ears,
Burning my entire body

© 2013 Vic Romero

#nightdwellers
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
*inspired by the lovely Sam…thanks for inspiring me xx

done waiting

liquid runs through my bony fingers and drips to the floor it feels warm in my hands and heavy i try to hold it steady as it continues to beat as it continues to pound in my fragile hands which pull it towards my chest and i feel it throb against my body ignoring the fluid drizzling down
down
down
through my broken fingers as it rests in my shaking hands i admire every crevice and wrinkle and admire its tenderness but how it still feels strong and how for once holding this to me doesn’t feel wrong its pulsating vibrations syncing with my own and i continue to ignore the warm trickle through the cracks between my defrosting fingers

allowing this heart to warm me up

© 2015 Vic Romero

Update

I slept poorly the night after I posted this blog about some future roommate/housing issues I was having.  Regardless of my sleep deprivation, I woke up an hour earlier than I had to to go to school so I could go to the ResLife office and resolve my concerns.  Unfortunately, I go to a big school so there are many campuses and offices.  The office I initially went to sent me to another office on another campus.  I went to the appropriate campus, but I couldn’t find the office.  A woman told me where to find it, but I didn’t have time to actually go to the office because I had my five-hour class.  This stressed me because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to speak with someone when I got out of class due to long lines that are more prevalent later in the day…plus, I was stressed because I was nearly running late to my class.

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I Could Use A Couple Shots Right Now, Let’s Make This Tipsy Tuesday

I’ve been listening to a ton of angsty music lately…like screamo and heavy metal.  I have always enjoyed this type of music, but I don’t usually listen to so much of it.  When I used to exclusively listen to this style of music, I was unhappy and angsty.  So it’s concerning me that all I want to listen to is angry music.

Part of it may be due to being sexually frustrated.  I have been attracted to several people over the past year or so, but it hasn’t been reciprocated, until now.  It’s kinda frightening me and I keep questioning the situation as well as myself.

Continue reading “I Could Use A Couple Shots Right Now, Let’s Make This Tipsy Tuesday”

Love Bites (ep. 3): What’s Your Name Again?

I apologize that the second installment of this series has been delayed a week!  Nevertheless, here is the second publication.  If you haven’t already, read the first one here!

The night was brisk but warm enough to walk without a coat. I crossed my arms over my chest as I walked down the vacant street with my friends, all of us expecting one last night to cut loose before the summer.

I heard the base boom from the basement as we approached the house. Two people that stood on the front porch nodded at us as we made our way up the driveway.

We walked down the stairs into the basement, the music and flashing lights washing over us.

“Let’s grab a drink,” one of my friends said.  We all grabbed cups of beer from the bar and then shimmied over to the dance floor, my friend crooning the words to a Rihanna song into my ear.  As we approached the center of the dance floor, I noticed the cute, Latina girl from my sexualities class.  The one with the female symbol tattooed on her ring finger.

She was chatting with a couple people in the corner of the room, a half-empty beer in her hand.  Her head fell back as she laughed, her mouth wide open and eyes closed.  I confidently strode up to her, leaving my friends behind.

“Hey, Ronnie!” I called to her over the blaring music.

When she noticed me, her face lit up and she grinned.  “Oh my god, heyyyy!”  She pulled me into a one-armed hug, her hand lingering on my lower back when we pulled away.  “How are you?”

Continue reading “Love Bites (ep. 3): What’s Your Name Again?”