August…

I just returned from my family vacation to Europe, and it was a wonderful time.  We went to Barcelona, Paris, and London.  It was for two weeks, so pretty much the entirety of August thus far.  I was nervous about going on a vacation that was so long and being isolated to with my family the entire time, but it ended up going really well: I didn’t confront any conflict with my family and although traveling had its ups and downs, overall, it was a nice vacation and I got to explore and see different things.

I prepared a lot for any emotional challenges I might face during my travels.  I brought lavender oil with me, my Kindle, my journal, different colored pens, PlayDough, chocolate, and all of the DBT packets from my therapy group this summer.  I didn’t use all of these tools during my trip, but when I did need something, they were very helpful.  I tended to use the lavender oil and my Kindle the most.  I journaled twice with my colorful pens.

Anyway…so I’m back to working my super-flexible job and I’m starting to plan how to plan for the rest of the summer and for my second to last semester.

Second to last semester!  It’s so incredibly crazy…I’m going to be graduating in May.

Continue reading “August…”

July…

In this month, I’ve come out to my parents a second time, my parents met my girlfriend, and I also got into my first fight with my girlfriend.

By “coming out” a second time, I just told my parents that I had a girlfriend.  My dad handled it better than my mom…not that my mom handled it terribly this time though.  My mom basically worried about my safety and my future, meanwhile my dad focused more on the fact that I can tell him anything and that he loves me.

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Absolutely Wonderful

Have you ever learned something new about someone and then spend hours and hours reflecting on old memories and things they did or said that seemed weird to you just…make more sense?  Or now you have a greater understanding of who they truly are?

The other day, my girlfriend opened up to me more about her past and…I’ve been reflecting on memories I have with her.  My opinion about her hasn’t changed but…I feel closer to her because I feel like I know her a little better than before.  And before I felt like I knew her pretty well so…it’s intense I guess.  Intense in a good way.

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St. Elmo’s Fire

You shift in your sleep, your knee moving to rest against my thigh.  I stiffen as you exhale and tuck your head beneath the crook of my neck.  I tentatively inhale, your hair tickling my nose.  I’m enveloped in your scent as I lie here, awake in your bed.  Acoustic rock had lulled us to sleep, and later, had woken us up.  You must’ve turned it off at some point.

I want to roll over, but I’m afraid to move.  More than that, I’m afraid you’ll move away.  I would prefer to remain close to you, but I’m still unsure if that’s where you want me to be.  I’m also unsure if I would be crossing a boundary if I got closer.

You roll over, turning away from my neck.  I roll over to face the wall.  Your leg, however, finds mine again.

© 2016 Vic Romero

 

snail mail

maybe you thought i was fishing for an apology…i was at the time. but for awhile i’ve been feeling more at peace and not needing that to get by…the gashes have been healing although the scars are still apparent and pain is an adjective i’m still feeling but i’m okay i’m better then okay, actually then you come around…jeez, you have a lot of nerve after i opened myself up and told you how you made me feel. honestly, you shouldn’t have said anything because you don’t mean it you shouldn’t have told me that you had loved me but you did…maybe to “do me a favor” too bad i’m allergic asswipe flavor you really should’ve saved your bullshit apology because we both know that you’re not sorry…but thanks for trying because you’ve only confirmed that i am better off without you

© 2014 Vic Romero

Raw Write

I’m hurting a lot.

The family that I feel I had last year…my support group…well it doesn’t exist anymore. At least it doesn’t feel like it.

My ex doesn’t even wanna be friends, my best friend rarely acknowledges my texts…all my other close friends are in different states far away and I feel alone because I haven’t established another solid support group.

I have friends, but I feel weird talking about things that are actually bothering me with them. I can talk to my RA about things that are bothering me, but I can’t really be friends with her because she’s my RA.

I feel alone…scared…and rejected.

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Time To Let Go

You think things could get better?
I’m a believer, but now I’m not so sure
I’ve ruined the sleeves of my sweater
Crying over what I can’t seem to cure

Everything I do makes things worse
Irreparable damage I guess
Nothing can be reversed
I feel depressed

All I want is her
But I don’t know what she wants anymore
I keep dreaming of how things were
Although those memories only reopen old, painful sores

© 2014 Vic Romero