snail mail

maybe you thought i was fishing for an apology…i was at the time. but for awhile i’ve been feeling more at peace and not needing that to get by…the gashes have been healing although the scars are still apparent and pain is an adjective i’m still feeling but i’m okay i’m better then okay, actually then you come around…jeez, you have a lot of nerve after i opened myself up and told you how you made me feel. honestly, you shouldn’t have said anything because you don’t mean it you shouldn’t have told me that you had loved me but you did…maybe to “do me a favor” too bad i’m allergic asswipe flavor you really should’ve saved your bullshit apology because we both know that you’re not sorry…but thanks for trying because you’ve only confirmed that i am better off without you

© 2014 Vic Romero

Raw Write

I’m hurting a lot.

The family that I feel I had last year…my support group…well it doesn’t exist anymore. At least it doesn’t feel like it.

My ex doesn’t even wanna be friends, my best friend rarely acknowledges my texts…all my other close friends are in different states far away and I feel alone because I haven’t established another solid support group.

I have friends, but I feel weird talking about things that are actually bothering me with them. I can talk to my RA about things that are bothering me, but I can’t really be friends with her because she’s my RA.

I feel alone…scared…and rejected.

Continue reading “Raw Write”

Time To Let Go

You think things could get better?
I’m a believer, but now I’m not so sure
I’ve ruined the sleeves of my sweater
Crying over what I can’t seem to cure

Everything I do makes things worse
Irreparable damage I guess
Nothing can be reversed
I feel depressed

All I want is her
But I don’t know what she wants anymore
I keep dreaming of how things were
Although those memories only reopen old, painful sores

© 2014 Vic Romero

5 Months

Slowly I kiss the expanse of her soft chest
My lips wander south to her luscious left breast
With my hand, I can feel she’s wet and excited
I drag a finger through her hot folds, her delight is ignited
She drags her fingertips across my back
Then covers her mouth as I relentlessly attack
She’s beautiful, sexy, and adorable all at the same time
I smile to myself, I’m so in love and she’s all mine

© 2014 Vic Romero

Thursday Night

My lullaby is her soft breathing as she soundly sleeps..I cocoon myself tightly in the bed sheets, wishing she was here taco-ed in my bed with me. I close my eyes and imagine how’d she lay..her body would be sprawled on top of me, with my chest used as a pillow for her soft right cheek…

Through the line, I hear her breathing stop for a moment..the sound of the line crackling bursts in my ears. I hold my breath for a minute…and then finally her breathing is all I hear.

I release the breath I’ve been holding, and meditate to her quick, quiet breaths. It’s late, I should also be sleeping…it’s late, I should also be dreaming.

But it’s hard to sleep when there’s a painful dagger in your chest, the same chest on which the beautiful angel rests. I close my eyes, fighting the urge to cry.

It’s late, I should really just go to sleep…it’s late, I should just turn off my mind and let my subconscious overtake me.

My consciousness, however, remains..it replays the nightmarish events from earlier that day. The disappointment, the mistakes..the misunderstandings…and although it all feels scary, my greatest fear is of me pushing her away…the thought of her leaving restarts the pain.

Instead of counting sheep, I count the breaths she takes while she sleeps…it helps numb the pain from the dagger that is stuck in me.

It’s late, and eventually my eyes flutter close..it’s late, and eventually my dreams take control..but it’s too late to undo the nightmare I’ve created in my home.

© 2014 Vic Romero

My Puppy

Her head rests on my bare chest and I push all the scary thoughts out of my head, if just for a little while..it’s difficult to be upset around her because she only makes me smile. Her head pops up suddenly and our eyes meet, I feel her body wiggle playfully. She grins at me and kisses my chest and then my cheek..then softly rests her head back on top of me. I pull her closer to me, although she’s as close as she can get…I keep thanking the universe for that first day we met, and then that Saturday when we became friends.

With my free arm I reach to grab her hand…her fingers immediately intertwine with mine and I sigh, feeling sublime. I kiss the top of her head, then close my eyes and wish for sleep…nothing can be sweeter than her lying in bed with me.

© 2014 Vic Romero

Cloud 9

On Thursday morning, April 3rd, at an ungodly hour (perhaps 2am), I told her I loved her.

She had been wanting me to speak to her in Spanish for forever, and I was always reluctant to do so because speaking in Spanish makes me uncomfortable but I thought because I have been wanting to tell her that I love her it would be cute to say it in Spanish.

I wasn’t planning to say it on Wednesday night when she FaceTimed me and we talked until we passed out on Thursday morning but I just…had to.  It took a long time to say it too because I felt so nervous…what if she didn’t love me back??

But then considering how she had been calling me “her love” for the past month or so and then how she had sent me this text when I showed her some of my writing…

Continue reading “Cloud 9”