More Lavender and Tea Tree Oil, Please

Happy September 1st!

Jeez, I can’t believe it’s already September though.  My senior year officially begins on Tuesday, which has caused my anxiety to spike tremendously once again.  Unfortunately, my anxiety triggers cold sores on my lips at least once every season…they’re super painful and because tea tree oil is the only effective remedy to treat them, (tea tree oil, if used as frequently as possible throughout the day, tends to prevent cold sores from going through the whole two-week healing process and reduces it to a week or if you’re lucky to catch it early enough, a mere couple of days), my lips become super dry.  Every year, I feel like I get them more and more easily, which is frustrating.  I used to get them only if I didn’t sleep but now I get them whenever I go from calm to hella anxious and worried.  Anyway….

Yes, I’m anxious because of school.  I’m also anxious because I just came back from the dermatologist…I got a biopsy and now I have to go back in three months.  My mom is currently at the doctor for her cancer…health issues are incredibly anxiety-inducing.

Additionally, it’ll be one year since my cousin passed in two days.  I always think about her, but over the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking about her more frequently and I have been wanting to talk to her more than I usually do.  Her parents planted a tree for her in the city where she was killed yesterday…I wish they had told us about that because I would’ve liked to go.  It must’ve been a nice ceremony.

Continue reading “More Lavender and Tea Tree Oil, Please”

Becoming a Food Network Star

This is the first self-care post!

If you’ve read any of the three posts I’ve written since I returned from my hiatus, you would understand that I’ve been overwhelmed by heavy emotions and that I’ve been taking measures to improve my mood and well-being.  I’m currently on summer break and although I’m working two part-time jobs, they are jobs I can do from home and I have flexible hours so I have been able to ensure that I’m making self-care my priority!

Methods that I’ve taken to improve my well-being include working out, writing, and cooking.

I won’t be delving too much into my workout because I’m still trying to consistently go to the gym.  For two weeks I went twice a week and last week I went three times, so now I’m trying to go three times this week too.  I go for about 20-30 minutes…I want to eventually increase the sessions.  Otherwise, there’s nothing noteworthy about my workout (yet).

I’m not going to explore the writing method because I share all my publishable writing on here; therefore, I will solely be exploring cooking in these posts!  If I start getting into another type of self-care habit, I will definitely share it with y’all but in the meantime…I’ll only be talking about food.

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Summer Projects 2014

Hello, all

I haven’t been writing much lately, I barely even write little story/poem ideas in my phone anymore.  My friend from Opuss named Pat once told me that writing is for the solemn, and since I am not solemn so much because of all this change that I have endured during my final year of high school…I have become more comfortable with myself, I made friends, I found love…I haven’t been as interested in writing because I want to live.  The only things I have written really are solemn posts about my parents.  But I don’t want the struggles that I have with my parents to be what my website, “Unzip These Lips”, becomes.  I have lost sight of being creative…writing more than just my emotions.  I have stopped creating alternate worlds with a rainbow variety of characters that are trying to solve crimes, find love…etc.

The past few days my fingers have been twitching, desiring to write again.  I didn’t know what I wanted to write but after some thought, I have some project ideas to keep me preoccupied when I’m home and have some time to relax.  So…here are the ideas…

1. My best friend, Rachel, just flew to China this morning to visit her family.  She’s going to be there for most of the summer and because we’re both going off to college in different states, I don’t know when I’ll see her again.  I’m planning on emailing her, which is something that we’ve partaken in almost every summer since middle school so…I was thinking about posting some of my emails here.  I want my website to consist of everything that I am…and documentation of recent events in my life is part of who I am, along with creative stories and poetry…and any other medium that I can think of.  The series of emails will be called “Letters To Rachel” (I know, so creative) and there’s not going to be a schedule for them because I don’t know how frequently we’ll email.  If we don’t email for awhile though I may just write some blogs every now and again solely for my website.

2. The last official project idea I have is to write a mystery series.  Last summer I was involved in a couple of projects with other writers from Opuss where we passed the mystery story around and added parts accordingly…this summer I want to try to write a whole story, from beginning to finish, myself.  I feel like I began my interest in writing because of my love of books, and when I began writing it was initially stories so…I want to continue that.  I’ll try publishing a part of the mystery every other week, I’m not sure what day yet.

My unofficial projects are to write poetry that isn’t solely based on my personal moods.  I want to write creative poetry as well.

Anyway…just thought I would share this all.  By writing it down I feel like I’m committing too so…hopefully I can commit.

I hope you all are having a great summer so far and have a fantastic July Fourth tomorrow!

-Vic

2 Months

Tomorrow is our two-month anniversary.  She had said it felt like longer, and I agree…it feels like we’ve known each other and been together for more than…almost five months now.  We really began talking in January…and although we weren’t officially dating until a few months later, both of our friends have said that we were basically dating when we weren’t.

God, I love her…she makes me happy.  I hope there are many months spent together to come 🙂

Awhile ago I had told her that I like to write and I had shown her some of my stuff…when I told her I have my own website she had been demanding to see it but I had been reluctant because when I sent her some of my work, I was able to choose the pieces that would draw the fewest questions about myself or the pieces that wouldn’t make me feel so…vulnerable.

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No More Apologies

god i’m so sorry i have broken your heart i’m so sorry i have gone about this all wrong i’m so sorry i have wished all along that we could get along but i screw it all up and i’m so sorry i keep tearing you apart with every article of clothing that i pack it feels to you like a smack like a stab in the back i’m so sorry that this hurts you so bad i’m sorry but it hurts me too my heart is covered with black and blues and i’m sorry i hadn’t told you the truth but it’s hard to be honest when i couldn’t even be honest with myself i didn’t know how to go to you i didn’t know how to ask for help i’m sorry but i was lying in the dirt of the tears that i had been crying for hours for days for years i was dying for so long but at least all of my tears showered the withered flowers so they lived on so they grew up to be strong as i was corroding away as i was deteriorating into dust but at least i becoming something because before i was nothing i was just living to waste my time until i died i was making the motions and imitating life…

but now i feel whole i feel content with myself and i don’t apologize for finally being who i am

© 2014 Vic Romero

I’ve Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

Seventeen magazine had said that in January I would be flirting with two hotties (which I was: my manager who I started talking to two days before I saw my horoscope, and my former best friend who I’ve been reconnecting with for awhile and is straight) and that one of them is compatible with me. On the 26th I was supposed to know which person is for me.

I don’t believe in horoscopes. I like to read them though because I think it’s cool when they are somewhat relevant to my life, and I wonder how many other Scorpios (that’s my horoscope) relate to the horoscope, which in turn means that they relate to me. It’s a connection of astrology. I find it neat.

Regardless of my fascination with horoscopes, I have never believed in them nor have I ever deemed horoscopes to be correct. Except for the one that I stated above. Then again, my horoscope was actually not correct because I had known she was the one that was most compatible with me after a few days of talking, regardless of my questioning our compatibility when I found out that she smokes pot. Pot irks me.

Anyway, today is the 27th and I forgot that the 26th, the official day that I was supposed to know if she was the person for me, has passed.

Did anything happen yesterday that reaffirmed that she was the person for me?

….no. I spent most of yesterday not talking to her because I was studying or…”studying”. I did text her later last night during the Grammy’s though. I confessed to her that I had died inside (in a good way) that one time that she had gotten mad at work and almost whacked me with the door because she had grabbed my waist…she was all: omg Victoria you just melted my heart I didn’t think I could make anyone feel that way…

Other than that, there was nothing that happened on the 26th that screamed “VICTORIA YOU ARE MEANT TO BE WITH THIS GIRL!!!”

However, there have been other times, before the magical 26th and after that has caused me to like her even more than I did when I was just admiring her from afar a few months ago.

We have a lot in common, my girl and I. We have little things in common, like favorite ice cream flavor, favorite music, etc. But we also have similar values, such as honesty, family, work ethics.

We have a lot of differences too. She loves wrestling and football (specifically the Patriots) and I don’t watch sports (except for tennis sometimes). She enjoys romance movies, I prefer comedies. There are others too, but I didn’t want to make a list about her here. I want to talk about…Thursday.

Continue reading “I’ve Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day”

smashed at starbucks

 

feeling low

insecure and alone

why would i feel this way after hanging out with her, now that i’m home?

everyone fucking knows…

i’m now swimming in a fishbowl

and i’m naive

inexperienced little me

lamer than anything that comes to be

not good enough, i need to leave

i just want to run

leave her hanging on

eventually she’ll let go too

i just want to run

run from her because she makes me feel too good

and it’s all corrupt

it’s all fucked

from the beginning anyway

i will only be ending it all

before the unstable structure that we’ve created falls

on its own

or maybe i will wait it out

and see if she can accept me

but i don’t want to ask

because i’m scared she’ll reject me

© 2014 Vic Romero